I will never be a princess and this is not "my day".

I have the uncommon distinction of being a thirty-eight year-old first time bride. One of the great things about having this distinction is that I gave up my delusions of princess-dom (and my desire to wear a tiara) oh, say...thirty years ago. So, I've got that going for me, which is good.

Another really wonderful "thing" about being an older bride is that I've had many really wonderful days in my life already. And I don't really need this one to be "mine". While doing the requisite pre-wedding reading (books on planning your PERFECT day! Imagine! A PERFECT day! Sign me up, right?) It occurred to me over-and-over-and-over again that Brides in this culture are being told a big, awful, potentially relationship-damaging lie by the Bridal Industry. And we all know why they're even showing up for the Big Day. Their reason has nothing to do with commitment, the creation of a family, our spiritual well-being or our happiness in marriage. They want our money.

How fortunate I am to be in a position where, as it happens, I have no money. Or at least, very very little money to spend on this wedding. Yes, this too is a gift. Here's how:

I can not afford the 1500 page Fairy Tale Wedding Album full of photographs where I look....well...perfect.\
I can not afford the forty layer cake that better be just oh so perfectly right even though most brides dont get a chance to eat it except whatever her groom accidentally places in her mouth as he publicly betrays her trust by smearing it all over her face and her perfect makeup and her perfect gown with the price tag the size of the average mortgage.

Instead, we have (gratefully, joyfully, solemnly) had to approach our wedding day as the day it really is. The day when the people we care about, not all the people with whom we were ever acquainted, but the people who really know the us that is us deep down inside, will gather around us and with us and lay their hands above us and pray with us that we will remember these vows stated in the presence of God and man and air and sky. And we will witness the creation of something that is Greater than the sum of its Parts.

I am so so very pleased, and yes grateful, to be a thirty-eight year-old first time bride.